Beyond Dry January

So you’ve managed Dry January. Well done you. You might want to return to moderate drinking or give up completely. The choice is yours. Hypnotherapy or RTT can help with both of these goals. Did you know it is important for your body to have some completely alcohol free days?

It takes up to 21 days to form a new habit, so you really can achieve healthier habits in less than a month.

 

Gain control and freedom from drinking

I have  helped clients achieve freedom from a range of sabotaging behaviours, including addictions and alcohol. It’s not just alcoholics that need to manage their drinking – anyone who relies on a drink to relax or have a good time could benefit from knowing how to cut back.

You need more than just willpower for healthier habits

Willpower alone is not powerful enough to change behaviours long term, we need to get to the root cause and work with the subconscious mind, which is ten times more powerful, as this is the way to achieve lasting change.

 

Primary Motivators and Powerful Emotional Needs

It has been proven that one of the major factors causing alcoholism is the feeling of not belonging.

Humans come onto the planet with two powerful emotional needs:

1. To seek connection.

2. To avoid rejection.

 

If you dig deep enough into the emotional problems of almost anyone, you can trace their issues back to a lack of fulfilment of those two needs. It really is that simple, because that truth is so powerful and part of its strength is its simplicity.

When we lived in tribes, it was imperative that we didn’t get rejected, as no human could survive in the wilderness out on their own. In that case, rejection really did mean death and connection meant survival. That is why this fear is so deeply rooted and the cause of so many of our modern day problems, it really was a matter of life or death.

I always come back to this fundamental truth: more than anything else we need connection and to avoid rejection.

“But I feel like I’m lacking something, like there’s an emptiness inside.”

Clients often talk to me about a feeling of emptiness inside, that they feel something is missing and have inner feelings of lack. I believe that the common denominator of nearly all issues is not believing I Am Enough.  When we don’t feel good enough, we can try to fill the emptiness with self-sabotaging, destructive behaviors.

Drinking alcohol is one way people try to fill the inner void they feel.  However, once we understand that the void only exists in our own mind, then we have the power to change it forever.

Many modern-day ailments are a function of humans trying to fill the feelings of lack and emptiness.

Feeling disconnected or rejected can lead to all sorts of issues that manifest in other ways. It can manifest as a fear of intimacy, an inflated ego, or an addiction to eating, alcohol or drugs.

It doesn’t matter where the rejection or lack of connection comes from, it almost always leads to a person who feels as though certain things in life will never be available to them.

“The solution I so desperately want is not available to me.”

So many clients consult with me longing to be free of their issues.  However, alongside the issues, which include alcoholism, depression, obesity and lack of success, is a fixed belief that, “the solution I desperately want/need is not available to me.”

You may feel that you simply can’t or don’t know how to cut back on alcohol; that these solutions may work for others but not for you. You’re not alone, it’s very common to feel that way, but you do have a choice and you can access everything you need to make positive changes in your life right now.

Change your beliefs and you can change your life.

Once you’ve identified your fixed beliefs, it’s very useful to ask yourself:

  • Why do I believe that?
  • Where did that belief come from?
  • Who gave it to me?
  • Who gave it to them?
  • Why am I still believing it all these years later?”

The point of this exercise is that the minute you begin to question a belief – you begin to doubt it. Because as you question it, you chip away at it until it’s gone.

Everything is available to you and the first step to achieving what you want is to fix  new positive beliefs firmly in your mind in place of old negative ones.

Whatever changes you decide to make, ensure you link pleasure to them.

 

If you decide to cut back on alcohol to improve your health, but resent doing it, your mind will link pain and denial of pleasure to not drinking. You may feel deprived, which leads to you craving something even more as you are wired to seek pleasure and avoid pain.

 

By saying ‘I am choosing to do this, I choose to enjoy it’, you help stop any resistance. You don’t even need to lie. Choose to link pleasure to the benefits of choosing not to drink instead.

There are many benefits to enjoy when you know how to cut back on alcohol:

Make a point of linking massive pleasure to the changes you are implementing. Enjoy having a clear head with fresh energy and enthusiasm, instead of feeling foggy, sick and tired with a stinking hangover. Link pain to excessive drinking and pleasure to healthier choices on how to cut back on alcohol and all the benefits it brings to life.

When you make these changes, don’t say ‘I must,’ ‘I have to,’ or ‘I should.’  Instead, say, ‘I want to’ or ‘I have chosen to,’ ‘this is going to help me achieve…’

Know that you have a choice and you are able to choose how you feel, so choose to feel amazing about being in control of what you put into your body and mind. It is such a simple change yet makes an incredibly big difference.

Small changes make big differences.

You can choose to be in control, rather than being controlled by drink.

By choosing how to communicate with yourself, how to control your thoughts and how to say and think the right things, you realise that you have a choice about how to cut back on alcohol.

When you make healthier choices and create healthier habits you can enjoy a healthier life on your terms. Sometimes it’s the simple changes that have the most powerful results.

Actively choosing reminds your mind that you do indeed have a choice. Know that you are making life-enhancing choices and feel proud of your new healthier lifestyle.

Adapted from the work of Marisa Peer

 

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